I\u2019m a counselor at the high school and every day I hear
\nmultiple heartbreaking stories from so many students.
\nHundreds of kids are living with people other
\nthan their parents because their parents are drug
\naddicts, in jail, alcoholics, dead, or unfit. Students
\ncome to school wearing the same old clothes every
\nday, the same old shoes every day regardless of all the
\nsadness and trauma that haunts them.<\/p>\n
My grandma
\nMy older sister
\nMy older brother
\nMy mom\u2019s ex-boyfriend
\nMy mom\u2019s ex-husband
\nMy aunt
\nMy neighbor
\nMy uncle
\nIn my car<\/p>\n
With any of these answers we can assume a large
\namount of trauma. So much trauma that these students
\ncan\u2019t concentrate most of the day, can\u2019t trust, can\u2019t
\nlearn…struggle. They share their problems with me.
\nThey cry. They ache. They rage. They attempt
\nsuicide. They cut. They mourn for absent parents.
\nI listen. I offer some coping strategies, a referral to
\nmental health, a hug, a snack, but often I am unable to
\ndo more than listen and maybe make a schedule change.
\nAdverse childhood experiences – ACEs fill my day and
\nmy mind. Post traumatic stress disorder – PTSD makes
\nkids sensitive, distracted and full of toxic stress. The
\ndaily interaction with trauma gives me and my
\ncoworkers secondary trauma.<\/p>\n
Some days we leave work with very heavy hearts because there is not much
\nwe can do to make significant change. But then…
\nBut then came the Solutions for Youth Fund. Being able
\nto order a student a new pair of shoes and socks
\nso he\/she is not bullied anymore over his\/her smelly
\nshoes is powerful. Being able to order new clothes,
\nschool supplies, a jacket and give them to students
\nwho have very little happiness in their lives is healing.
\nIn the lives of kids who think no one cares about them,
\nthey feel cared about. They feel heard and shocked.
\nShocked that anyone would give them something new.<\/p>\n
These students feel undeserving, unworthy, unloved. I
\nknow a pair of shoes doesn\u2019t make a person happy, but
\nit does make them smile. They smile for a moment in
\na life of years with no smiles. They walk proud in their
\nnew clean clothes.<\/p>\n
For those of us who grew up privileged with
\nbirthdays, holidays, constant sources of love and support,
\nregular meals, trips, cars that run, safe homes, etc, we
\nfind it hard to believe that a child could live 15
\nyears and never have owned a new book or been
\nto a restaurant for dinner. It\u2019s hard to believe that a
\nchild could live an entire childhood with no bed, no new
\nclothes ever, limited food, and constant chaos in their
\nliving space. But every day in my line of work, I talk to
\nkid after kid who lives that reality. They have been
\nabandoned by their parents and most of the time the
\npeople who take them in are living in poverty themselves.<\/p>\n
One reason is that I took the time to listen and find out. I earned
\nthe child\u2019s trust to have the difficult conversation about
\nneeding things and I had an amazing support program
\nat Children First.<\/p>\n
In one day these are some of the backgrounds of kids
\nmyself and other counselors work with:
\nA student living with a single parent who is disabled
\nA student living with neighbors since their parent died
\nA student living with a single parent because the other
\nis in jail
\nA student living with a stepparent needing hygiene
\nproducts
\nA student living with a grandparent in poverty facing
\neviction
\nA student living with a friend because their parents are
\nin prison or on the streets
\nA student living with a parent, both victims of domestic
\nabuse and struggling to survive.<\/p>\n